The Workplace

Monkeydad · 06-07-2010, 12:43 PM

Where the heck is my stapler!?!?!?

(I actually DO have someone who swipes my stapler at least twice a month. I always know exactly which office to retrieve it from at least).

Monkeydad · 06-07-2010, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mattyk

WC is a nightmare, claims go on forever, the medical providers are corupt, and the attorneys are ambulance chasers. Spitzer pushed through a lot of legislation before he left but the system still needs a lot of work.

From the side of an injured worker with an UNINSURED employer once that required legal action...I can agree with the nightmare part.

Fortunately for me, my lawyer was a former WC JUDGE, so he was toast from the start. Still took a year to reach a fair settlement for me.

mredskins · 06-07-2010, 02:29 PM

My job is so unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the damn stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big dog to work. Every day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single bloody day.

Anyway, I drive these folks around in my van and we solve mysteries and stuff.

I stole this joke for the record.

mredskins · 06-07-2010, 02:33 PM

I enjoy my job for the most part. The folks I work with are pretty cool. It's a family owned business and we have several special divisions. Mine is the construction side, mostly carpentry and repair work.

The owner is an older guy, pretty short but really knowledgeable and for the most part he stays out our hair until things get really fubar'd. Then he shows up and makes us all look like dummies when he bails us out.

We got this hot chick that works in the office. Blistering hot, blonde hair, wears short skirts everyday. I'm not real sure what she does at work but I do know she's serviced every guy in the company, myself included. She's pretty much the company whore.

We got these two other idiots that work in a different division, one of em sleeps all day at his work station and generally doesn't do a damn thing. He's part of every fubar situation we have here. The other is a damn pessimistic sunuvabitch. He hates everything, just the other day I told him I'd have no problem offing his emo ass with a claw hammer.

Anyways I have to get back fixing all the houses that Gargamel and Azrael fucked up. I hate those guys.

Not as funny as the first and stolen again.

Monkeydad · 06-07-2010, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mredskins

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

Wait, you've taken her out on dates?

mredskins · 06-07-2010, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buster

Wait, you've taken her out on dates?

I think you missed the joke. Maybe someone can help you here on the board.

mredskins · 06-15-2010, 10:33 AM

One of my workplace nightmares unfolded on Saturday night: RUNNING INTO TO WORK PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF WORK!!!!!!!!

My family and my folks went out for dinner and then decide to stop for ice cream, big mistake. Who rolls in but the most annoying person in my office with her husband and son. All she does is talk about her two year old son nonstop and sure enough that is what she did on Sat. night. I thought at one point my dad was going to claw his ears off.

We get back in the car after eating our ice cream as fast possible and my mom says "you have to work with her everyday?" I said "everyday", as a tear rolled down my cheek.

I hate seeing folks out side of work expect for a small handful that I consider friends, it is just so awkward and I hate to think I have to listen to them and I am not being paid to do so!

MTK · 06-15-2010, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mredskins

One of my workplace nightmares unfolded on Saturday night: RUNNING INTO TO WORK PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF WORK!!!!!!!!

My family and my folks went out for dinner and then decide to stop for ice cream, big mistake. Who rolls in but the most annoying person in my office with her husband and son. All she does is talk about her two year old son nonstop and sure enough that is what she did on Sat. night. I thought at one point my dad was going to claw his ears off.

We get back in the car after eating our ice cream as fast possible and my mom says "you have to work with her everyday?" I said "everyday", as a tear rolled down my cheek.

I hate seeing folks out side of work expect for a small handful that I consider friends, it is just so awkward and I hate to think I have to listen to them and I am not being paid to do so!

LOL oh man that is definitely the worst, it's like a crossing of two different worlds that weren't meant to cross.

mredskins · 06-15-2010, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mattyk

LOL oh man that is definitely the worst, it's like a crossing of two different worlds that weren't meant to cross.

There is a guy in my old office that told me this story about how he avoid this one girl from our same office at Target. He literally had me rolling on the floor. He said he was diving from asile to asile and at one point even hide in a display of pillows. LOL!

mredskins · 06-15-2010, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mattyk

LOL oh man that is definitely the worst, it's like a crossing of two different worlds that weren't meant to cross.

Also it is not so bad if it is just you but when you have the whole family in tow it is way worst. You got small talk and intro to go through!

Seriously if I go to hell that will be my hell, just me on a continuous loop running into work people in non-work places.

MTK · 06-15-2010, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mredskins

There is a guy in my old office that told me this story about how he avoid this one girl from our same office at Target. He literally had me rolling on the floor. He said he was diving from asile to asile and at one point even hide in a display of pillows. LOL!

I've totally done the aisle dodge at Target, lol. Sometimes you've just gotta do it.

tryfuhl · 06-16-2010, 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mattyk

I've totally done the aisle dodge at Target, lol. Sometimes you've just gotta do it.

Shit yeah.. one time it happened that myself and the other person were dodging each other

saden1 · 07-23-2010, 07:25 PM

A manager asked a tester why she didn't do XYZ and she replied "because I'm lazy!" Unbelievable.

ArtMonkDrillz · 07-23-2010, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tryfuhl

Shit yeah.. one time it happened that myself and the other person were dodging each other

Why am I just now seeing this?!?!

At my old job on the day my boss, who I hated, retired she walked around the office from cubicle to cubicle having these awkward little good-bye moments with everyone. When she got about two or three desks away from me I made a bee line for the bathroom and hid in there for at least 20 minutes (I pre-planned this so I had an egg mcmuffin and plenty of coffee for breakfast). I successfully avoided any unwanted awkward conversation.

GMScud · 07-24-2010, 02:00 AM

Last week I had an employee basically ask me to fire him. He committed an offense that was pretty much the straw that broke the camel's back (he had 3 previous write-ups in his file), and when I pulled him aside to talk with him about it, he literally was like, "I know you've got to do what you've got to do." Long story short, he was practically begging to be fired. He was useless (I didn't hire him), but I was still hesitant because I don't want him to collect a dime of unemployment from us. But I still cut him loose. We well documented all of his missteps, and he even signed a "last warning" write up.

People who just blow off good jobs in this economy blow my mind.

06-07-2010, 12:43 PM	#76
Monkeydad Living Legend Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: PA Age: 45 Posts: 17,460	Re: The Workplace Where the heck is my stapler!?!?!? (I actually DO have someone who swipes my stapler at least twice a month. I always know exactly which office to retrieve it from at least). __________________ Not sent from a Droid, iPhone, Blackberry or toaster

06-07-2010, 02:29 PM	#78
mredskins Gamebreaker Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 12,658	Re: The Workplace My job is so unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with: First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe. The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat. But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the damn stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big dog to work. Every day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single bloody day. Anyway, I drive these folks around in my van and we solve mysteries and stuff. I stole this joke for the record. __________________ When life gives you paper jams, turn them into paper footballs!

06-07-2010, 02:33 PM	#79
mredskins Gamebreaker Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 12,658	Re: The Workplace I enjoy my job for the most part. The folks I work with are pretty cool. It's a family owned business and we have several special divisions. Mine is the construction side, mostly carpentry and repair work. The owner is an older guy, pretty short but really knowledgeable and for the most part he stays out our hair until things get really fubar'd. Then he shows up and makes us all look like dummies when he bails us out. We got this hot chick that works in the office. Blistering hot, blonde hair, wears short skirts everyday. I'm not real sure what she does at work but I do know she's serviced every guy in the company, myself included. She's pretty much the company whore. We got these two other idiots that work in a different division, one of em sleeps all day at his work station and generally doesn't do a damn thing. He's part of every fubar situation we have here. The other is a damn pessimistic sunuvabitch. He hates everything, just the other day I told him I'd have no problem offing his emo ass with a claw hammer. Anyways I have to get back fixing all the houses that Gargamel and Azrael fucked up. I hate those guys. Not as funny as the first and stolen again. __________________ When life gives you paper jams, turn them into paper footballs!

06-15-2010, 10:33 AM	#82
mredskins Gamebreaker Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 12,658	Re: The Workplace One of my workplace nightmares unfolded on Saturday night: RUNNING INTO TO WORK PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF WORK!!!!!!!! My family and my folks went out for dinner and then decide to stop for ice cream, big mistake. Who rolls in but the most annoying person in my office with her husband and son. All she does is talk about her two year old son nonstop and sure enough that is what she did on Sat. night. I thought at one point my dad was going to claw his ears off. We get back in the car after eating our ice cream as fast possible and my mom says "you have to work with her everyday?" I said "everyday", as a tear rolled down my cheek. I hate seeing folks out side of work expect for a small handful that I consider friends, it is just so awkward and I hate to think I have to listen to them and I am not being paid to do so! __________________ When life gives you paper jams, turn them into paper footballs!

07-23-2010, 07:25 PM	#88
saden1 MVP Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Seattle Age: 45 Posts: 10,069	Re: The Workplace A manager asked a tester why she didn't do XYZ and she replied "because I'm lazy!" Unbelievable. __________________ "The Redskins have always suffered from chronic organizational deformities under Snyder." -Jenkins

07-24-2010, 02:00 AM	#90
GMScud Swearinger Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Washington, DC Posts: 12,626	Re: The Workplace Last week I had an employee basically ask me to fire him. He committed an offense that was pretty much the straw that broke the camel's back (he had 3 previous write-ups in his file), and when I pulled him aside to talk with him about it, he literally was like, "I know you've got to do what you've got to do." Long story short, he was practically begging to be fired. He was useless (I didn't hire him), but I was still hesitant because I don't want him to collect a dime of unemployment from us. But I still cut him loose. We well documented all of his missteps, and he even signed a "last warning" write up. People who just blow off good jobs in this economy blow my mind. __________________ Tardy

The Workplace

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