Merged: The Movies Thread

[KLHJ2]

Originally Posted by mredskins

Rating:
G.I. Joe could quite possibly have the worst script of all time but the action scenes are so exhilarating that it warrants a viewing. There is one particular action scene that takes place in Paris, France that must have lasted at least twenty minutes. It was absolutely insane. Now listen, this movie goes against pretty much everything that makes good cinema. The acting is horrific, the dialogue is horrendous but for some reason, the two hours went by really quick and it kept me entertained. That is all we are paying for here, right? Should you see this in theaters? That is a tough question because the movie is bad, but it's almost so bad that you have a good time with it. Does that make sense? By the way, I am writing this review at 2:29am on Friday morning after seeing the midnight screening because the film was not screened for critics. I can see why because if you are looking at this film from a cinematic standpoint, it will probably get clubbed. The film stars Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Sienna Miller, Rachel Nichols (green girl from Star Trek), Dennis Quaid, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (he's in my favorite film of the year so far, (500) Days of Summer), Byung-hun Lee (plays Storm Shadow) and Ray Park (played Darth Mauhl in The Phantom Menace and now plays Snake Eyes).

The films plot is absolutely ridiculous and I will try my best to explain it without giving anything away. Duke (Tanning) and Ripcord (Wayans) are two military men who join a special operative group called G.I. Joe after one of their missions goes bad. They were supposed to transport four warheads containing a technology with nanomites. These nanomites essentially eat alive whatever they touch and if launched on a city, could destroy everything. If you have seen the trailers, they are those green things eating the Eiffel Tower. The organization behind creating the weapons is called M.A.R.S. And they are headed up by a man named McCullen (Christopher Eccleston). He created these warheads but he also wants to use them to destroy the world. He answers to the main bad guy of the group, Cobra (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). Once Tanning and Riport sign on with the G.I. Joes, who are headed up by General Hawk (Quaid), they are forced to retrieve the warheads once they are stolen. Let the action begin. Essentially, they came up with some mindless, destroy the world plot, so they could give you as much action and CGI as possible.

Even some of the CGI looked really bad in this film, especially the plane that the "Joe's" fly in on when they go to the "Pit." Other than a couple of bad CGI moments though, the rest of the action scenes were pretty stunning. I keep going back to the one in Paris because it was breathtaking. That scene alone was worth seeing the entire film. Among all of the bad dialogue and horrific acting, the director found a light with this scene. Director Stephen Sommers is no stranger to bad dialogue and good action; The Mummy, Van Helsing. Luckily, he did not direct that third Mummy flick.

The acting and dialogue could not have been worse. There were scenes where I really felt that the characters had their scripts in their hands. There was one scene where three actors say three lines back to back and it felt so scripted that I thought I was in the reading room. It makes you wonder whether or not the director told them to act this way on purpose or is he really that bad.

There were way too many flashbacks in the film. I was sitting in the parking lot after the film let out joking with my friend Josh about how cheesy they were. He made a joke that they would zoom in on the character’s face and then go to the flashback and then come back and the character was making the same exact face! That was so true. The whole thing just felt way too scripted.

I just wanted to point out that aside from all of the awful acting in the movie, Joseph Gordon-Levitt pulls off a great performance as Cobra. He was the one character that really made the movie fun and exciting and he reminded me a little bit of Darth Vader. It wasn't that he was scary or menacing but he was more of the classic bad guy with the deep voice and the menacing laugh. He was the highlight of the film for me.

On the bright side though, the film does go by fast. The action is enough to keep you in your seat and entertained. Now, with my scale, I always judge on entertainment. Here's my problem though. I probably grunted 100 times during this movie because the dialogue was so bad. Would it be bad of me to say, walk in for the Paris scene and then leave? See, I can't make you do that, so I will have to go with a rental for this one. I will say that is better than Transformers 2 and Terminator: Salvation if that is really saying much. Either way, this is not a film you need to rush out to see, hence the 3 BDK rating. I believe there was a critic who said that if you were younger, this would be a great movie. I would 100% agree with him on that. If you are a young boy who plays with these toys and doesn't care about acting/dialogue, you will love it. I felt the young boy in me a little bit tonight, especially during the action scenes.

Nice review. I am still going to see it on Sunday, little boy and all.

[GMScud]

Originally Posted by mredskins

Rating:
G.I. Joe could quite possibly have the worst script of all time but the action scenes are so exhilarating that it warrants a viewing. There is one particular action scene that takes place in Paris, France that must have lasted at least twenty minutes. It was absolutely insane. Now listen, this movie goes against pretty much everything that makes good cinema. The acting is horrific, the dialogue is horrendous but for some reason, the two hours went by really quick and it kept me entertained. That is all we are paying for here, right? Should you see this in theaters? That is a tough question because the movie is bad, but it's almost so bad that you have a good time with it. Does that make sense? By the way, I am writing this review at 2:29am on Friday morning after seeing the midnight screening because the film was not screened for critics. I can see why because if you are looking at this film from a cinematic standpoint, it will probably get clubbed. The film stars Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Sienna Miller, Rachel Nichols (green girl from Star Trek), Dennis Quaid, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (he's in my favorite film of the year so far, (500) Days of Summer), Byung-hun Lee (plays Storm Shadow) and Ray Park (played Darth Mauhl in The Phantom Menace and now plays Snake Eyes).

The films plot is absolutely ridiculous and I will try my best to explain it without giving anything away. Duke (Tanning) and Ripcord (Wayans) are two military men who join a special operative group called G.I. Joe after one of their missions goes bad. They were supposed to transport four warheads containing a technology with nanomites. These nanomites essentially eat alive whatever they touch and if launched on a city, could destroy everything. If you have seen the trailers, they are those green things eating the Eiffel Tower. The organization behind creating the weapons is called M.A.R.S. And they are headed up by a man named McCullen (Christopher Eccleston). He created these warheads but he also wants to use them to destroy the world. He answers to the main bad guy of the group, Cobra (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). Once Tanning and Riport sign on with the G.I. Joes, who are headed up by General Hawk (Quaid), they are forced to retrieve the warheads once they are stolen. Let the action begin. Essentially, they came up with some mindless, destroy the world plot, so they could give you as much action and CGI as possible.

Even some of the CGI looked really bad in this film, especially the plane that the "Joe's" fly in on when they go to the "Pit." Other than a couple of bad CGI moments though, the rest of the action scenes were pretty stunning. I keep going back to the one in Paris because it was breathtaking. That scene alone was worth seeing the entire film. Among all of the bad dialogue and horrific acting, the director found a light with this scene. Director Stephen Sommers is no stranger to bad dialogue and good action; The Mummy, Van Helsing. Luckily, he did not direct that third Mummy flick.

The acting and dialogue could not have been worse. There were scenes where I really felt that the characters had their scripts in their hands. There was one scene where three actors say three lines back to back and it felt so scripted that I thought I was in the reading room. It makes you wonder whether or not the director told them to act this way on purpose or is he really that bad.

There were way too many flashbacks in the film. I was sitting in the parking lot after the film let out joking with my friend Josh about how cheesy they were. He made a joke that they would zoom in on the character’s face and then go to the flashback and then come back and the character was making the same exact face! That was so true. The whole thing just felt way too scripted.

I just wanted to point out that aside from all of the awful acting in the movie, Joseph Gordon-Levitt pulls off a great performance as Cobra. He was the one character that really made the movie fun and exciting and he reminded me a little bit of Darth Vader. It wasn't that he was scary or menacing but he was more of the classic bad guy with the deep voice and the menacing laugh. He was the highlight of the film for me.

On the bright side though, the film does go by fast. The action is enough to keep you in your seat and entertained. Now, with my scale, I always judge on entertainment. Here's my problem though. I probably grunted 100 times during this movie because the dialogue was so bad. Would it be bad of me to say, walk in for the Paris scene and then leave? See, I can't make you do that, so I will have to go with a rental for this one. I will say that is better than Transformers 2 and Terminator: Salvation if that is really saying much. Either way, this is not a film you need to rush out to see, hence the 3 BDK rating. I believe there was a critic who said that if you were younger, this would be a great movie. I would 100% agree with him on that. If you are a young boy who plays with these toys and doesn't care about acting/dialogue, you will love it. I felt the young boy in me a little bit tonight, especially during the action scenes.

Did you have a few espressos after the movie or something?

[mredskins]

^ No I am sorry that is BDK's review from the junkies. I ment to say that first.

[MTK]

I've got 0.0 interest in seeing GI Joe. I mean really, what lame cartoon are they going to turn into a lame movie next?

[KLHJ2]

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

I've got 0.0 interest in seeing GI Joe. I mean really, what lame cartoon are they going to turn into a lame movie next?

Really? Wow! You learn something new about people every day. I will admit that the animated movie was painfull to re-watch as an adult, but that cartoon series was my favriote from my childhood. To each his own I guess, as long as the action is good I will not be disappointed.

[MTK]

I'm really not a movie snob either, I'm just tired of the usual recycled ideas that summer movies bring. Just not a fan of your typical big action movie I guess.

[KLHJ2]

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

I'm really not a movie snob either, I'm just tired of the usual recycled ideas that summer movies bring. Just not a fan of your typical big action movie I guess.

Typically I am not either, but here is where we differ. I hate action movies that are action movies for the sake of being action movies with absolutely zero plot. I typically canot stand military inaccuracies in movies either. It drives me bat shit crazy. Now GI Joe would fall into this category for me with the exception that I grew up watching GI Joe and I was pissed when they took it off of the air. I never had a chance to grow out of it or whatever. The idea that somebody has attempted to recreate that and possibly improve upon it makes me an automatic fan. What can I say...I'm biased. This movie would absolutly have to stink for me to be disappointed.

[SmootSmack]

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

I've got 0.0 interest in seeing GI Joe. I mean really, what lame cartoon are they going to turn into a lame movie next?

How can you not be excited about Thundercats!

And I'm just going to assume you weren't including The Smurfs in your little rant

[firstdown]

Originally Posted by Angry

Typically I am not either, but here is where we differ. I hate action movies that are action movies for the sake of being action movies with absolutely zero plot. I typically canot stand military inaccuracies in movies either. It drives me bat shit crazy. Now GI Joe would fall into this category for me with the exception that I grew up watching GI Joe and I was pissed when they took it off of the air. I never had a chance to grow out of it or whatever. The idea that somebody has attempted to recreate that and possibly improve upon it makes me an automatic fan. What can I say...I'm biased. This movie would absolutly have to stink for me to be disappointed.

Well then why would you watch GI Joe as he was not even 12" tall and could never get in the military at that height. Plus he has no ding dong and could not pass the "Don't ask don't tell policy".

[KLHJ2]

Originally Posted by firstdown

Well then why would you watch GI Joe as he was not even 12" tall and could never get in the military at that height. Plus he has no ding dong and could not pass the "Don't ask don't tell policy".

Please read my first post about GI Joe before you go there. It is a fantasy and you know that. It is not even trying to pretend that it is real.

Here is an example. In the movie Basic, the actors were supposed to be portraying U.S. Army Rangers. They put a Female in a all Male unit. It is impossible for a woman to be a Ranger... can not happen. In the commentary on the DVD the director admitted that he was advised against it. He argued that it was possible so he added it into the film anyway.

Those are the type of innacuracies that I am talking about. No one is going to mistake GI Joe for an actual military group, they do not exist. The Rangers on the other hand do.

[firstdown]

Originally Posted by Angry

Please read my first post about GI Joe before you go there. It is a fantasy and you know that. It is not even trying to pretend that it is real.

Here is an example. In the movie Basic, the actors were supposed to be portraying U.S. Army Rangers. They put a Female in a all Male unit. It is impossible for a woman to be a Ranger... can not happen. In the commentary on the DVD the director admitted that he was advised against it. He argued that it was possible so he added it into the film anyway.

Those are the type of innacuracies that I am talking about. No one is going to mistake GI Joe for an actual military group, they do not exist. The Rangers on the other hand do.

I think your taking GI Joe a little to serious today. You could not tell I was joking.

[KLHJ2]

Originally Posted by firstdown

I think your taking GI Joe a little to serious today. You could not tell I was joking.

I think that you are right. Is it time to go home yet?

[itvnetop]

What kind of bugged me about the whole G.I. Joe marketing was the fact they refused to let mainstream critics even see the film before it opened (only a few fringe writers got to see it). I don't see what the problem was- even when critics blasted Transformers 2, it still made ridiculous amounts of money.

Something sounded off when the distributors were saying (paraphrasing), "We are staying away from the coastal urban areas with this film. Our market is the midwest and southern areas." This is kind of a backhanded comment, imo- basically saying they believe people living in their target demographic have bad taste in film.

[BleedBurgundy]

Caught an afternoon screening of GI Joe with the wife. It was pretty damn bad, and to be honest, the effects weren't even close to amazing enough to make up for it. There were about 75 roll your eyes moments during the movie. The best thing I can say about it is that it played almost exactly like one of the old cartoon episodes. That's great for a 30 minute saturday morning show aimed at kids, not so much for a movie with a 9 digit budget...

[BleedBurgundy]

Originally Posted by SmootSmack

How can you not be excited about Thundercats!

And I'm just going to assume you weren't including The Smurfs in your little rant

I nominate Scarlett Johansson to play Smurfette.